Well another week has gone by and it’s time for my to report.
I am sure that you can see from our previous conversations that this course contends that we are all (most of us) mentally screwed up due to the millions and millions of occurrences (good and bad) that happen to us throughout our lifetimes.
They contend that the emotion that we feel at the time of the occurrence and the occurrence are tied together and stored in our subconscious forever.
For example lets say that as a kid that you were the worst player in your whole class in hop scotch. Every day when you joined in, the rest of the class laughed and made fun of your efforts. This continues the entire school year.
During this period your subconscious is recording each episode of you and your failing efforts. And let’s be honest we ALL fail at a lot of things in our lifetime. Our personal mental video archives are immense.
As time goes by you are offered new life challenges where you are judged. Guess what your subconscious does?
With each challenge your subconscious goes back in its video archives and sees what happened previously in like situations. When it finds something familiar it plays it for you on the spot. You immediately see the video and re-experience the emotion you felt before. Why?
One of the jobs of our subconscious is to keep us safe mentally and physically. By showing you the Warning Video it hopes to keep you safe from emotional or physical pain.
The problem is…. by the time we are grown we are so stunted and afraid of embarrassing ourselves that we quit trying to do anything that might put us at emotional risk.
This is a big big part of what this course is trying to make us aware of.
Now you already know that I’m not a touchy-feely kind of guy and I am not one to sit and discuss my innermost thoughts and fears because that’s just not what guys do… right!
OK… maybe that’s a little silly.. but that’s kinda how I feel about vulnerability.
So what’s this about?
One of this weeks exercise directed me to sit quietly for 15 minutes and remember a pleasant time and place in my life.
Now I’ve lived a pretty good full life (my opinion) and I thought this would be easy.
The more I tried to think of the perfect place the more I was reminded of something that wasn’t perfect about it. Does that make any sense?
So I tried thinking of another place in time…. guess what? Same results. My subconscious could come up with negatives faster than I could remember places, people and times.
Did they give me this chore just to prove a point?
Me thinks so!
I voiced my results to my coach and she recommended that I should sit again and focus on all the bad results and occurrences in my life and then ask my subconscious what to do. ( are you starting to hear the Barney song again?)
Against my better manly stoic logic I agreed to try it.
The next morning I got up as usual and decided to try it first thing.
I went into the living room. I set the timer for 20 minutes.
I sat down on the sofa closed my eyes and begin trying to relax my whole body and totally clear my mind. ( trying to keep a blank mind is really tough.. try it for even 5 minutes)
So once i felt kinda blank I started thinking about the lifelong pile of garbage that was in my mind.
Almost like a dream I saw a large warehouse like an airplane hangar. Inside this hangar was all my mental garbage. Hundreds of giant pallets with all the bad results and occurrences in my life. I was astounded how neatly arranged and organized they were. I guess my subconscious needed for them to be organized for easy retrieval. Lucky me huh?
While I was marveling at the massive amount of “stuff” a man on a yellow construction tractor showed up and commenced to push all of my stuff out of the hangar onto the giant concrete pad out front.
Once everything was moved out he handed me a broom and told me to sweep the hangar and knock all of the cobwebs from the walls and ceiling. After completing my work I walked outside to find him burning my giant pile of trash.
I vividly remember the heat of the fire and looking back inside the hangar and thinking how clean and empty it was.
I snapped at the sound of my timer going off. Twenty minutes had disappeared in the blink of an eye. I remember thinking, “did I fall asleep?
Four days later I still can’t answer that question but I do know this.
Every day I clearly see that empty pristine clean hangar and every time I start to have a bad thought I hear a voice that says,” that doesn’t go in the hangar”
It has now been four days since and only “Good Stuff” is in the hangar. I also feel really good about myself and feel amazingly free.
Is it more than a feeling? I don’t know but I will keep you in the loop as it plays out.
Have a great week